you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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