They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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