She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Are we still banned from the library?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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