sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
