Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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