So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
