That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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