I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
