Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
do herpes really smell.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
