So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
