don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
