I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
