Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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