when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
