my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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