i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
