white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
