I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
