Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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