Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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