My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
