Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
