Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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