Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Are we still banned from the library?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Randomize
