he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
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