just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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