he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
