well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
