Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
