U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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