Screwed.edu
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
