not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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