Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
