So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
