I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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