I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
