just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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