last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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