jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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