You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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