I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
