so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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