SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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