I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
True strength comes from lack of pants
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
