shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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