Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
