She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
