that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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