so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
