My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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